Varsity
June 30, 2006 •
Encouragement
June 30, 2006 •
Provider
June 30, 2006 •
Gift
June 29, 2006 •
Yep
June 29, 2006 •
Fingered
June 29, 2006 •
Sport
June 29, 2006 •
Choices
June 29, 2006 •
Ethel
June 28, 2006 •
clean
June 28, 2006 •
covered
June 28, 2006 •
recruit
June 27, 2006 •
Cape Cod
June 27, 2006 •
Prepared
June 27, 2006 •
Gear
June 27, 2006 •
Protection
June 26, 2006 •
Yep
June 26, 2006 •
Yes, I grew up with one of these hanging on the wall in our apartment. It's my second fear in life. Just ask Suzanne.
It's nice to know I'm not alone in the terror.
via Boingboing
Meat
June 26, 2006 •
1945
June 26, 2006 •
Contemplation
June 26, 2006 •
Artist
June 25, 2006 •
Outfit
June 25, 2006 •
This one from a series of shadow pics I posted on Swapatorium.
Ride
June 24, 2006 •
Pals
June 24, 2006 •
Industrious
June 23, 2006 •
Success
June 23, 2006 •
Variety
June 23, 2006 •
Hell
June 22, 2006 •
Hi
June 22, 2006 •
Happiness
June 21, 2006 •
Yep, it's Pie
Hostage
June 21, 2006 •
Success
June 21, 2006 •
Design
June 21, 2006 •
Distracted
June 20, 2006 •
Happiness
June 20, 2006 •
Rental car.
28 mpg.
Hotel room.
Wifi.
Small antique stores in central Ohio.
Life is suddenly much better.
Patterns
June 20, 2006 •
Adventure
June 19, 2006 •
This is how it went.
(I apologize for the poor writing, I'm kinda exhausted)
I left.
I got a chance to see how the motor home rides. It’s kinda like strapping yourself on top of a dinosaur. Not one of those sleek fast raptors or a powerful t-rex. No, this is like riding on the back of a big fat brontosaur. The dumbest fattest brontosaur of the group. It kinda sways from side to side and rolls over the dips in the road. I swear I was starting to get seasick.
The other drivers on the road seem to have two reactions to the motor home.
“Get the hell out of my way” or
“Holy crap keep away from that thing, it’s going to kill us”..
The motor home is huge. It’s 1977 huge. It’s a massive box on wheels. If this thing ever hits anything, there’s going to be nothing but pieces left of who or whatever gets in its way.
I was actually enjoying the whole experience. The cb radio was on, I had a Dickle Brothers cd playing and I could feel my sideburns growing.
I stopped for gas. Lots and lots of gas. Everyone I talked to said the motor home should get about 10 -12 miles to the gallon. After I filled up, I checked to see what kind of mileage I actually was getting.
7 mpg. S-e-v-e-n. Say it with me kids. Seven.
Holy crap. I left the gas station with a heavy heart and a light wallet.
Back on the road.
Boom. On a road in Lowell Indiana I blew a rear tire. It was 4:00 p.m. on Saturday and everything in town was closed. I asked the guy at the gas station and he told me about a tire shop that was open in Cedar Lake (about four miles up the road). I made it to the tire shop got the tire fixed.
More adventure.
I’m tooling along and the motor home starts running like crap. I pull over and leave it idling while I open the engine cover. All you could smell was gas. I looked down and saw that the fuel line had split and was pumping gas all over the hot engine. I turned off the ignition and sat there waiting for the gas to dry up so I could work on fixing the line. I also located my laptop and camera so I could make a quick escape just in case the damned thing did catch on fire.
Fixed and back on the road.
I made it to Walkerton Indiana at about 9:00. I pulled in front of the house of Kay from Fourteen Places to Eat. She has one of my favorite web sites and it was really really nice to finally meet her. We talked for some time and then we made plans to meet in the morning to photograph a parade in a small town called North Judson. I got back in the motor home and headed for a nearby campground.
I pulled into the campground and headed for the office. There was a black suv parked in front. When I got out of the motor home a man came out of the suv and asked me “Are you alone?”. I looked at him and asked him “Why?”. he said “I’m lookin for my daughter. You alone?”. I just said “Yep, just me”. He got into his suv and pulled away.
I rang the bell at the office and a woman came down from upstairs. She unlocked the door, looked at me and said “You’re late”. I had no idea what she was talking about until I noticed a big sign that said “Office closed at 9:00 p.m. DO NOT RING BELL AFTER 9:00”. I apologized and told her I was on Chicago time and didn’t realize the time difference. She said “It’s the same 9:00 everywhere and even here.” We stood staring at each other for a second or two and then she slid me a registration card to fill out. She said “I thought you was that guy looking for his daughter. You alone?”. I told her I was. She nodded and gave me a map of the campground.
I parked for the night.
The campground was called “Lazee Dayz or While Away or Camp-O-Rama(or some other swell name..I really can’t remember exactly). I plugged in the electric and settled down for the night. My motor home was quiet except for the hum of the roof air conditioner. It was peaceful it, was nice.
Then the “Gunnnnnkkkkk” noise happened. It came from the roof. It was the air conditioner. It bit the dust - fried out - bought the farm. Great., no air. I’ll just open the windows and enjoy the cool night breeze.
Good morning campground. How the hell did fifty mosquitos get inside the motor home? Ah, one screen has a small tear. Great, bugs.
I came to a decision that morning.
I drove over to Knox Indiana and met Kay for breakfast. We had a great time. She’s one of the nicest, wonderful and most talented people I’ve ever met. We talked for a long time. When we left the restaurant it was raining. I decided to bail out rather than go to the parade in the rain. We said a quick goodbye and I headed out in the motor home.
One problem.
The windshield wipers broke. In the driving rain. On the highway. Great. Wonderful.
One more thing.
Then the motor home suddenly won’t go more than 35 miles per hour. Once again I open the engine cover and try and figure out what the hell is wrong.
It took me about two hours to deduce that the fuel filters were clogged. I took both filters off and hooked the fuel line back to the carb. It started up and ran fine.
I believe in listening. I believe in listening to signs from above. Sometmes life gives you hints that you need to follow a different path than the one you're on.
You get where I’m going with this.
I’m still going to do the trip but The White Trash Experience ™ is over. Utterly completely totally over. I’m parking this money pit and renting a decent car - van- something that gets more than seven miles to the freaking gallon and I’m heading out again...today.
But where's the motorhome?
I called my friend Mike and we met at the farm in Earlville Illinois. That’s where that rolling piece of poop sits today. Mike drove me back to Chicago and I grabbed a hotel room.
The one good thing about the past two days was getting to meet Kay from Fourteen Places to Eat. She’s the lone bright spot in an otherwise horrendous two days on the road.
I also got to take this fine pic of my friend Dan wearing the famous
Puerto Rico Coat™. Doc, I'm on my way.
I pick up the rental car in a couple of hours.
Anyone interesting in buying a used RV? Cheap?
No? I didn’t think so.
Path
June 19, 2006 •
Courtin'
June 19, 2006 •
Wrassle
June 17, 2006 •
Relaxation
June 17, 2006 •
Adventure
June 17, 2006 •
I'm jumping in the motorhome this afternoon and heading east.
Now lets go get some pie.
In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida
June 16, 2006 •
Immigration
June 16, 2006 •
Cleansed
June 16, 2006 •
Gift
June 16, 2006 •
Hi
June 15, 2006 •
Coy
June 15, 2006 •
For some reason I keep coming across photos where the people are trying to hide behind some foliage.
What's the deal.
Brian
June 15, 2006 •
Assistance
June 15, 2006 •
Love
June 15, 2006 •
News
June 14, 2006 •
Meager
June 14, 2006 •
Style
June 14, 2006 •
Do
June 14, 2006 •
Swingers
June 13, 2006 •
Happy
June 13, 2006 •
Coors
June 13, 2006 •
Strohs
June 13, 2006 •
Family
June 13, 2006 •
Distracted
June 13, 2006 •
Show
June 12, 2006 •
Rookie
June 12, 2006 •
Tchotchke
June 12, 2006 •
slice
June 11, 2006 •
revelation
June 11, 2006 •
Instructor
June 10, 2006 •
Git
June 10, 2006 •
Look
June 10, 2006 •
Eddie
June 09, 2006 •
Incident
June 09, 2006 •
Trapped
June 09, 2006 •
The Robot
June 09, 2006 •
Billy
June 08, 2006 •
Alan
June 08, 2006 •
Safety
June 08, 2006 •
5:30
June 08, 2006 •
Gert
June 07, 2006 •
Nick
June 07, 2006 •
Well now. Here's a pic of our good friend Nick wearing his favorite coat.
Nick's quite the fashion god.
(Post pictures of clowns on my site will ya.)
Now for the first time ever, you can own the coat worn by the famous Nick of Square America. The person who can tell me the best story about Nick and his Puerto Rico coat will win the wonderful coat seen in this photo.
Amazing you say? But wait, there's more.
The coat may contain some actual Nick Sweat ™. This will enable you to not only look like Nick but you can actually smell like Nick as well. Tell me a story and win the coat.
Pals
June 07, 2006 •
War
June 07, 2006 •
retired
June 06, 2006 •
vanquished
June 06, 2006 •
Anne
June 06, 2006 •
Pete
June 06, 2006 •
Write
June 05, 2006 •
All right.
I spent the weekend getting the Bighappyfunmobile ready for the trip. I *think* I'll be ready to leave this Friday. Send me an email if you'd like me visit. I'm hoping to meet as many of you as possible. I'll need you to take me to the local flea markets, resale shops, and diners. I'll also need you to feed me... the price of gas will probably leave me begging for a gallon at truckstops.
I cannot wait to get on the road.
So, write me dammit. I need to start planning this tripski.
(clowns...he freaking put clowns on Bighappyfunhouse......Nick is in for some serious revenge)
safe
June 05, 2006 •
The Rapture
June 05, 2006 •
formal
June 05, 2006 •
old scratch
June 05, 2006 •
uncle jim
June 05, 2006 •
Just when you thought it was safe...
June 05, 2006 •
Hey folks, Guess who? So last night at after a long weekend of filling in for Ron I do what any normal person does to relax- I put on my clown costume, grab some black tar heroin, and crawl under the nearest tractor-trailor to chase the dragon. Of course, no sooner do I put on the greasepaint and slip into a sweet narcotic stupor when Ron calls and says he needs me to post here for one more day. Well when the funhouse calls one must answer so I'm here for one more, mostly clownless, day.
Goodbye...for now.
June 04, 2006 •
Ron will be back tomorrow so I'm hightailin' it back to Square America but sooner or later I'll be back and next time I can promise you I'll be bringing some clowns with me. Til then here's the next best thing.
uncle ted
June 04, 2006 •
feast
June 04, 2006 •
stole
June 04, 2006 •
twisted
June 04, 2006 •
Soak
June 04, 2006 •
fried
June 03, 2006 •
moderation
June 03, 2006 •
for franko
June 02, 2006 •
I'm Back
June 02, 2006 •
Hey folks, Nick from Square America here once again. I'll be pinch-hitting for Ron this weekend as he packs up the funhouse and gets ready to hit the road.
Talent
June 02, 2006 •
Hobby
June 02, 2006 •
Telepathy
June 02, 2006 •
Upshort
June 01, 2006 •
Upskirt
June 01, 2006 •
North South East or West?
June 01, 2006 •
I'm leaving next week
The Bighappyfunmobile is up and running.
Muuuhahahahahaaaaa.
Mine
June 01, 2006 •
