A wonderful site Have a
January 31, 2005 •
A wonderful site
Have a visit
Out of Contxt
Out of Contxt
Out of Contxt
Out of Contxt
Mine
January 31, 2005 •
Display
January 31, 2005 •
Temptation
January 31, 2005 •
Ours
January 30, 2005 •
Well I finally got the
January 29, 2005 •
Well I finally got the photoblog up and running.
Slats.org
It has pics I take while running around the city
You guys always ask me where I get the photos for Bighappy.
Now you know.
Tales From the Funhouse Contest #4
January 28, 2005 •
Welcome to Tales From the Funhouse #4
Thank you to everyone who's been sending in the stories. I hope you're enjoying this as much as I am.
Each week on Friday we have a found photo short story contest.
This weeks found photo contest pic is the three women on the couch (above). Base your short story on that photo. The short story can be funny, serious or what ever toots yer horn.
The stories will be judged by a panel of esteemed bloggers. The winner will get a wonderful prize and have their story posted here on Bighappyfunhouse. This weeks prize is a Texas sterling silver bicentennial medal from the Franklin Mint, a Twilight Zone DVD, a 8 x 10 of Annie Golden of The Shirts, something called Dampoo from 1949 (dampens clothes without sprinkling), a box of Minipoo a "new quick dry shampoo" and a photo of Sister Lois Alvis playing a sweet Gibson guitar (see pic of prizes below).The deadline for submissions is Wednesday January 26th, 8:00 pm US central time. This week I'll post the top three stories the judges pick so yall can see what's coming in.
The judges are
Wendy from Pound
Andrew from Gapers Block
Joe from Joe's New York City
Send your stories to ron@bighappyfunhouse.com. I'll send you an email confirming I received it.
Good luck and have fun
This Weeks Prizes
January 28, 2005 •
Last Weeks Winner!
January 28, 2005 •
The voting was close this week. Scott F. is the winner of the Johnny Cash box set and the pic of some people drinking beer.
Here's the winning entry.
excerpt from Justin P. Nelson's "My Life as an Inventor-God":
It wasn't easy convincing Bryce's mom to be the first to try it on.
But we begged her. If it would have been one of us, well... there were
enough pictures of nerdy guys wearing weird clothes on the internet.
Besides, with all the talk about whether this or that piece of
technology was ready for "your mom" to use, it seemed natural. The
first picture that the world would ever see of our thermoptic
camouflage would prove that yes, somebody's mom was indeed ready for
it.
Of course, there were kinks to be worked out. The shadows formed by
wrinkles kind of broke up the effect. The buttons weren't the
stealthiest choice of fastener. And we'd have to find a way to get
those supporting straps to not show so much. But as a proof of
concept, we weren't doing too badly.
If only we could get the top half of the smock to display properly and
not just repeat the signal that the bottom half was processing, we'd
be swimming in dollars. Our futures would be paved with cocaine and
hookers for sure.
Or so we thought until the incident...
Here's some of the other entries
----------------------------------------------------------------------
The heat had come again, leaving us all feeling languid and slow.
Only Patricia seemed happy about this sudden display of summer's
force. Then I found out why. Her older sister Cathy had bought her a
special present some weeks before, but she had never mentioned it.
Now the afternoon became electric as she came out onto the lawn to
show the very fashionable swimsuit to her mother and me. I realized
that my little Patty was nearly grown as she twirled around, letting
us admire the neat white trim of the skirt. Finally, she did up her
hair and started to head to the neighborhood pool to join her friends.
"Wait, here's the camera!" I shouted, calling her back to stand by the
flowers that we had been weeding. "Just a picture with your mother to
show to Cathy later."
"Sheesh," said my wife. "Hurry and take it, the sun is too hot to
stand here waiting."
And Patty was impatient to go. So I snapped the picture, and as she
tripped off out of the yard, I imagined myself staring at the
photograph, as the only memory of my little girl.
------------------------------------------------------------
Today was the day
"Come on smile for me"
"Just take the picture"
"She can't smile she'll break the camera Ma"
"Shut up Eddie!
She wants me to smile. I'll smile when I'm damned good and ready. She
knows I'm ready to go but makes me stand here for "just one more picture
for my scrapbook". Billy's waiting in the car and I have to stand here
while my idiot brother fiddles with the camera. Billy aint going to wait
forever. I swear to god one of these days I'm going to burn that damned
scrapbook.
"Come on honey, smile for Momma. I want to remember you .. especially today"
She looked down at me with that look I've seen all my life. She knew.
"Especially today". Was she listening on the phone? Did she know?
Momma wiped the sweat from her brow. My brother said "There, I think I got
it."
I was free. Out on the street Billy leaned on his horn.
"I gotta go I'll see ya later Mom"
"Honey, you be careful."
She drew out the word careful as if she was spelling it.
Now I know she was listening on the phone. Those were Billy's words when
we talked last night.
Nothing's gonna happen, we'll be careful.
I ran to the car not daring to look in Momma's eyes
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Mama Luigi slaps her head and says mama mia. Her daughter Stella is wearing a skirt that shows more leg than Mama could ever have imagined in her wildest
dreams, (even more skin than Mama had ever let Mr. Luigi see). She thanks God that Stella's father was ran over and killed by a beer truck last year because the site of this would have surely killed him.
Her mind now turns to the fact that worse yet there is now a photograph to
document this terrible event. Her worst fear is now someday someone will see this photo and gawk over her daughters ridiculously short skirt. Ei yi yi, what's a mother to do.....
------------------------------------------------------------------
If I were a child again, on a day like today, I'd take my magnifying
glass out onto the cement driveway and give some ants a little
toasting. As it is, those days are long gone; instead, I'm lolling
away my Sunday afternoon with Bessie's lemonade sweating in my hand,
and the color funnies by my side. I'd be in heaven, if it weren't for
the fact that this is the hottest day on record for thirty years. I
inch myself into a sliver of blessed shade that's miraculously
appeared, when I hear the wife.
"George!" It's shrill. "Just you wait 'till you see this! George!"
I debate the merits of feigning sleep (realizing that I'd just be
rudely woken, regardless). As a handful of alternate escape routes
come to me, she's at my feet with Jess in tow.
"George. George! Jess is going to a picnic. In this state. Do something!"
I eye my daughter. She's piled her hair up in a scarf like she does
when it's hot, and she's got this short little number on, like the one
the wife wore back at that county fair, when we first metÖJess has got
her mother's legs. As I become lost in the memories of my wife as she
once was, a sigh escapes me.
"That's it?! A sigh? George! Our baby is going to be seen in public
and be a disgrace in this scrap ñ " she waves a hand in the vague
direction of Jess' body ñ "this shred of fabric. It's just plain
unacceptable, and something's got to be done." Her hand is on her
forehead, and I'm not sure if it's to ward off the growing
perspiration or exasperation.
I pause, and voice what seems to be the only logical thought on the
matter: "Well, it is hot, ain't it?"
There's deafening silence, and I know a deadly faux pas has been made.
Those six simple words have sealed my fate on the couch tonight.
At least I'll be cooler there.
------------------------------------------------------
The smell of beauganvillia is almost sickening.
Maisie has a hundred and one jobs to do: hang the washing to dry; scrub
the floors; stitch Miss Gloriaís party dress; prepare tea for Mrs.
Zaidieís Anglican Ladiesí Club; Lord, there just isn't enough hours in
the day.
But say no to Miss Gloria when she insists that Maisie pose for a
picture with her, so that Mr. Zaidie can show off his brand new Brownie?
Maisie knows which side of her bread is buttered on. And Miss Gloria,
Lord, sheís a spoiled child, but she has a good heart, and Maisie loves
her to pieces.
Mr. Zaidie is a good man, too, though Maisie does think he drinks too
much rum. But Mr. Zaidie worked hard to become a respectable businessman
in Jamaica, so maybe one can be forgiven for drinking too much at times.
As soon as a guest walks in the Zaidieís home, Mr. Zaidie will urge them
to have a drink. ìBird canít fly on one wingî, heíll say with a smile
and a wink.
Maisie knows different. Sheís been flying on one wing her whole life.
Never needed no rum to see the clouds.
---------------------------------------------
"Girls!! Girls come on!! We need to take a photo so everyone can see how
big you've
both gotten!"
It was at that moment we realized Mom was officially crazy. I mean, clearly I was 35 and Betsy was 30- everyone knew how big we were. Mom kept insisting that we stop what we were doing and go out to the garden to take a picture. When we wouldn't, she wheeled herself out onto the patio and refused to come in. What else could we do but lock her out for the night?
When we woke up the next morning she was still out there, camera in hand and
drooling. We felt bad, so we caved. Imagine how happy she was when she saw
I dressed to match the flowers and Betsy put on her sluttiest outfit.
In the end, we were all satisfied- mom got her picture and we ruined the
Christmas cards.
--------------------------------------------------------
ìMama, please,î said Christina, folding her arms and trying to look
dignified. Mama wouldnít stop laughing. ìPlease, MamaÖî
ìOh Christina, my darling, itís so funny,î Mama said in Spanish, laughing
and trying to cover her face. ìI canít wait until your father gets home.
Heís going to be so proud. Youíre such a smart girl.î
ìPlease, Mama,î Christina begged quietly. ìTheyíre trying to take the
picture.î
ìMrs. Ramos, could you move a little to the left please?î said the man
with the camera. He and the man with the notepad were getting a little
frustrated.
ìA la izquierda, Mama. Por favor, Mama,î whispered Christina in Mamaís
ear. Mama didnít speak any English, and was smiling and laughing to
herself, covering her face to try and keep it straight. She finally heard
Christina and stepped to the left.
ìOh-Kay,î Mama told the men loudly. Only Christina noticed the funny look
the two men passed between them, like Mama had said something strange.
Christinaís face felt warm. She struggled to hold the dignified pose.
The camera clicked a few more times, and then the man with the camera
stood up. The man with the notepad walked over to Christina and Mama. ìI
think we got it,î he said. ìWe should have it in by tomorrow.
Congratulations again on your essay, Christina. I really enjoyed it,î and
he shook her hand, one writer to another. Christina smiled slightly, but
felt like she was filled with warm air, like she would float off the
ground at any moment. She finally let go, and Mama swooped in and grabbed
the manís hand away, still ecstatic.
ìGracias, gracias, senor! Thank you sir, thank you,î said Mama in thick
and fast Spanish as she pumped the manís hand. ìGood luck with your
newspaper! Thank you for coming!î
ìRight,î answered the man, flustered. ìNice to meet you. Have a nice
day.î He backed off and then turned, got in the car with the photographer
and was gone. Mama waved like a maniac as they backed out of the
driveway. Christina wondered how the picture had come out, if the kids at
school would make fun of her tomorrow.
ìSo amazing, Christina! You should have told me about this contest
sooner!î Mama turned back to hug her as they walked back inside the house.
ìThose men were from the newspapers! Iím so proud of you, daughter! Wait
until your father gets home!î
ìSi, mama,î Christina sighed, holding her arms at her sides while Mama
hugged her shoulders.
ìYouíre such a good girl, Christina! I love you so much!î said Mama,
almost in tears of happiness as she kissed Christinaís head.
ìI love you, too,î answered Christina. ìTe quiero tambien, Mama.î
-------------------------------------------------------------
Stripes
January 27, 2005 •
Checks
January 27, 2005 •
Yep
January 26, 2005 •
Getta Loada
January 25, 2005 •
Grilled
January 25, 2005 •
Information
January 24, 2005 •
Informed
January 24, 2005 •
Tales From the Funhouse Contest #3
January 24, 2005 •
Welcome to Tales From the Funhouse #3
Each week on Friday we have a found photo short story contest.
This weeks found photo contest pic is the two women (above). Base your short story on that photo. The short story can be funny, serious or what ever toots yer horn.
The stories will be judged by a panel of esteemed bloggers. The winner will get a wonderful prize and have their story posted here on Bighappyfunhouse. This weeks prize is a brand spankin new Johnny Cash five Cd set "The Man in Black 1959-62" from Bear Family Records 1991. The winner will also receive a photo of some ladies drinking beer. (see pic below). The dog is not included in the contest (sorry).The deadline for submissions is Wednesday January 26th, 8:00 pm US central time. This week I'll post the top three stories the judges pick so yall can see what's coming in.
The judges are
Wendy from Pound
Andrew from Gapers Block
Joe from Joe's New York City
Send your stories to ron@bighappyfunhouse.com. I'll send you an email confirming I received it.
Good luck and have fun
Ron Slattery
Tales From the Funhouse Prize #3
January 24, 2005 •
Snowbound
January 23, 2005 •
The Winner of Contest #2
January 22, 2005 •
This weeks winner of our Tales From the Funhouse found photo story contest is Jennifer Morgan of Greentwig.com. She wins the jadite batter bowl and a fine pic of some guy playing poker. Here's her entry.
ìYou get back here Johnny!î was the last thing he heard as the feelings of
undeniable guilt washed over him. The adrenaline pounded in his veins and
his thoughts raced to the only place he felt safe. As his legs began go to
turn to rubber from the energy exerted, he felt the need to clutch that
little soft book even tighter. He feared it would slip from his grasp, now
sweaty from his sprint through the back out cropping of trees and then into
his neighbors clearing. The slick cover gave a little squeak as he clamped
down on it harder.
He slowed his pace as he traveled through the head high wild flowers, there
to feed those terrible bees. He slunk past the apiary. He was always afraid
he would wake the bees up if he ran past or made too much noise, and they
too would hunt him down with military precision.
As Johnny got to the oak tree his fort was built in the shade of,
camouflaged by saplings and undergrowth, he finally felt a calm start to
sooth him. He slunk under the canvas door and into the little warren he had
built for himself. He lit the sole beeswax candle he had pilfered from the
old man who kept that terrible army of buzzing soldiers.
Finally, as he caught his breath, he opened his ill begotten but so a
precious treasureÖ
The new issue of National Geographic.
At last.
------------------------------------------
Thanks for all the stories and be sure to enter this weeks contest.
Ron
Family
January 21, 2005 •
Four More
January 20, 2005 •
Gentlemen
January 19, 2005 •
Ladies
January 19, 2005 •
Tales From the Funhouse Contest #2
January 18, 2005 •
Each week on Friday we have a short story contest here at the old Bighappy.
This weeks found photo contest pic is the kid and the car (above). Base your short story on that photo. The short story can be funny, serious or what ever toots yer horn.
The stories will be judged by a panel of esteemed bloggers. The winner will get a wonderful prize and have their story posted here on Bighappyfunhouse. (last weeks winner will be posted Saturday) This weeks prize is a jadite batter bowl and a 8 x 10 of a guy playing poker (see pic below). The deadline for submissions is Wednesday 8:00 pm US central time.
The judges are
Wendy from Pound
Andrew from Gapers Block
Joe from Joe's New York City
Send your stories to ron@bighappyfunhouse.com.
Good luck and have fun
Ron Slattery
This Weeks Prize-O-Rama
January 18, 2005 •
Win
January 18, 2005 •
What?
Whats that you're saying?
You want girls?
You want tractors?
You want girls on tractors?
Nuff said.
Lucky
January 18, 2005 •
Source
January 17, 2005 •
Diverted
January 17, 2005 •
One of my favorite photographers
January 16, 2005 •
One of my favorite photographers is
Make sure you scroll back a few days. Buy some of his stuff or I'll buy it for you.
Sunday
January 16, 2005 •
Contest Winner #1
January 15, 2005 •
The judges have spoken. We have a winner in the first ever Tales From the Funhouse contest. Congratulations to Randall Thomas. He will receive the four 1966 Robin mugs and the fine photo of the Kid in the Hat. I cannot begin to thank all of the people who sent in stories. I wish I could make everyone the winner.
Don't forget this weeks contest! That jadite batter bowl needs a new home.
Wednesday night is the deadline.
With his mess kit in one hand and his kit Messy under the other, Roger Olivene faced the cameras one last time. His subtle smirk had lost none of its edge over the years;
Millions of fans stared quietly waiting to hear him say the words made famous two decades earlier.
But he just stood there, a slight rightward tilt to his face, as though attempting to compensate for the mass of hair on the left side of his head.
The wind rattled the mess kit; blew his tie inside his shirt. Messy stared through the papparrazzi, intent on some distant prey.
"Roger! Roger! What will you do now?"
"Roger! Are the rumours true?"
"Roger! Say it one more time!"
Flashbulbs continued to pepper the scene.
Messy's tail twitched in annoyance.
Roger's mouth opened slightly and the crowd hushed. He shut it again, and the crowd stared back. Pebbles in the dirt scrunched as he wheeled about on his left foot and turned his back to the crowd. He took five steps to the corner of the building and looked back briefly before disappearing from view.
"What're ya? Yella, fella?" he muttered under his breath. And before the crowd could react, Roger dropped his mess kit and his best kit Messy and ran for the waiting car.
Tales From the Funhouse
January 14, 2005 •
Each week on Friday we have a short story contest here at the old Bighappy.
This weeks found photo contest pic is the kid and the car. Base your short story on that photo. The short story can be funny, serious or what ever toots yer horn.
The stories will be judged by a panel of esteemed bloggers. The winner will get a wonderful prize and have their story posted here on Bighappyfunhouse. (last weeks winner will be posted Saturday) This weeks prize is a jadite batter bowl and a 8 x 10 of a guy playing poker (see pic below). The deadline for submissions is Wednesday 8:00 pm US central time.
The judges are
Wendy from Pound
Andrew from Gapers Block
Joe from Joe's New York City
Send your stories to ron@bighappyfunhouse.com.
Good luck and have fun
Ron Slattery
This Weeks Prize-O-Rama
January 14, 2005 •
Where's
January 13, 2005 •
There's
January 13, 2005 •
Vivian Girl
January 12, 2005 •
Patience
January 11, 2005 •
Anticipation
January 11, 2005 •
Honor
January 10, 2005 •
Tales From the Funhouse - Found Photo Contest #1
January 10, 2005 •
Contest Time
I'm going to try something new here at the Big Ole Funhouse. Once a week , on Friday, I'll post a found photograph or two. Your job (if you so choose it) is to come up with a story to go with the found photo. It's something I like to call "Tales From the Funhouse".
This weeks pic is the guy with the cat under his arm (see above). Base your story on that photo. The story can be funny, serious or what ever your heart desires.
The stories will be judged by a panel of esteemed bloggers from around the globe. The winner will get a wonderful prize and have the story posted here on Bighappyfunhouse. This weeks prize is a set of four 1966 Robin mugs from the Batman and Robin series. Also included in the prize extravaganza is a picture of a kid in a hat (see below). The deadline for submissions is Thursday Jan. 13th.
The mugs are calling your name, so make it good.
The judges are
Wendy from Pound
Andrew from Gapers Block
Joe from Joe's New York City
Send your stories to ron@bighappyfunhouse.com
Good luck and have fun.
Ron
Meet the Prize
January 10, 2005 •
Ready
January 09, 2005 •
Aim
January 09, 2005 •
Going
January 08, 2005 •
For You
January 07, 2005 •
Play
January 06, 2005 •
Work
January 06, 2005 •
Wants
January 05, 2005 •
Needs
January 05, 2005 •
Style
January 04, 2005 •
Styled
January 04, 2005 •
Here
January 03, 2005 •
There
January 03, 2005 •
Goodnight
January 02, 2005 •
Yep
January 01, 2005 •
Snack
January 01, 2005 •
Mug
January 01, 2005 •
Pleasure Chest
January 01, 2005 •
